need to tell myself that I can't let it go but at the same time I feel so insecure ): I missed the good old chance two years ago and I can never forget about it! I blame myself from being so navie and silly. AHHHHHHHH!!

Sigma give away by handmade reviews :D

hey guys! it's time for a sigma giveaway by handmadereviews!! So excited about it :)

where it begins, where it ends

"I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.
Yes, I surrender"

-Mighty to Save by Hillsong

One Month

It's not long enough for myself to enjoy but it's long enough for me to be honest to myself

Looking back from young til now
I need to say Hallelujah!!
Praise to God that I was a healthy and full of grace in my life
No matter what I have done especially when I walked into a wrong path, God still loves me :)
God never abandon me in the middle of no where put God pull me back to his arms

There's nothing better than praying to God

One night I had a dream
I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets
of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to me
and the other to my Lord.
When the last scene of my life shot before me
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
There was only on set of footprints.
I realized that this was at the lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This always bothered me
and I questioned the Lord
about my dilemma.
"Lord, you told me when I decided to follow You,
You would walk and talk with me all the way.
But I'm aware that during the most troublesome
times of my life there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You most,
you leave me."
He whispered, "My precious, precious child,
I love you and will never leave you
never, ever during your times of trial and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints
It was then that I carried you."

- Footprints in the Sand

I always has a dream that I will have a happily life forever and ever
haha...this is just TOO IDEALISTIC and native
In the past 31 days
I knew I was walking away from God especially when I was in spiritual low tide in my life
I knew this wasn't the path way that God had prepared for me

Making this decision is hard enough for me
But I know letting you understand me is even difficult
I chose to admit and be honest that I will never regret!
All I can say is I'm so sorry
Sincerely apologize
I know asking you to understand me is cruel but hope you do

Last but not least,
I'm ready to my life and just praise God for what he has done to me throughout the happy and hard times :D




love,
ching sze

Lonely Christmas

Longing for the glimpse in my life which is way harder than anything in my life.

I shall congra. my dear friend CHUT POOL! :)
at the same time I shall celebrate once again to my single life.
19 years, I am always seeking for an answer. "WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH ME?"
however, this is like a closing question. NEVER EVER has an answer...
no matter what others tell me, I will never believe. Not because I dont trust you buddies but I dont trust myself.

Yea, you are right. I have NO confident to myself or anything I do. I act strong but I am not strong either...
I guess that's me...being a single loser all the time. Don't worry about me buddies, I am gonna be okay! Not the first time ;)

That's how I am going to comfort myself in another way making myself emo as well...

Uni and residential applications are basically driving me CRAZY!

as well as other random stuffs pissed me off.
i can't believe i pay for all more than you but you just take it off easily.
don't put on a face that u care about me. i know you feel good to tease about me in that way.
what a shame. i'm not easily beatable!
i don't give a damn.
one day i will take back what i should have.
the most ridiculous thing is....neiwaoneibang, jungngfarnhork. darnhaineigingyinhorehuida! WAO! NGO ZHENG HAI PUI FUK NEI LOR.LI D YEA HAI NEI SIN JO DUK CHUT GEI. NGO NG WUI GUM HAO MIN PEI LOR.

i just want to leave this hell ASAP.

18th Birthday

first of all, I need to thank you everyone who sang hbd song to me n wishes me =)

specially thanks for helen, vivi, phyllis, tina, jess, levina, huan jing n janet.

THANK YOU FOR THE LOVELY PRESENTS. I LOVE THEM SO MUCHHHHH <3 MWAH

but a bit sad of not getting my family's present. i hope it's on the way to here.

pix will be uploaded later =)

neihuijorbin?

ngohosernhosernhoserntungneigongyea...

ngohohaofuigorchimotungneigong...egaupjuupjuhosunfu, jungyiuegayuetleiyuetdormuntai

ngogorkduklipaiggeijomeidoumoyunjunge

ngongsernjoitouhoyundeidarnhaijodggeingjungegeiyea

ngojaoleifartdin

horkyihoichingtungyauchingmoyudfongmeenhaiokay.